Thursday, April 8, 2010

Swensington Arrested!

Wednesday morning Police and International Kumquat Federation agents arrested Philipe Swensington at his home in Tuscon. He was arrested on counts of major business fraud in the Kumquat Market and resisting arrest. Swensington was the CEO of Surpassa Fika Kumquats for 6 years and tried to escape authorities in a helicopter off his six-story roof. The fraud that will now be investigated is insider trading and false advertising. Veteran Agent Aroldis Renie Shapiro persuaded the IKF to pursue the investigation.
The Oxford English Dictionary has announced that in the next edition they publish, the word Treeyy, pronounced Tree-ee-ee, which describes a business operating like Treey will be included. Also, Kilamanjaro-Dormington is hiring several new consultants and advisers. Some of the canidates include kumquat genius Solomon H. A. Arkanstonius and Corgi's Kumquats correspondent Hubit Schpeiper.



Next Post: How long will Ferkington continue to dominate the popular kumquat market?

Thursday, April 1, 2010

UNBELIEVABLE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

GEORGE MUTERSTEIN SOLD TOBANGO!

AROLDIS REYNIE SHAPIRO DIED IN A CAR ACCIDENT!

PHILIPE SWENSINGTON PROVED INNOCENT OF FRAUD!

FERKINGTON WENT OUT OF BUSINESS!

SURPASSA FIKA WILDLY POPULAR!

The Kumquat World is in ruins! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!