Monday, May 3, 2010

Muterstein's Vacation

George Muterstein just arrived back from a vacation in Hawaii with the ownership of a minor league baseball team and a new breed of kumquats. The baseball team is the Chicken, Alaska Ptarmigans. The kumquat is the PaleGrapefruit, which, instead of looking like a miniature orange, looks like a white grapefruit with light yellow skin and dark red flesh. They are very sweet but with flavor, unlike Ferkingtons. Muterstein said that he expected them to sell well and increase Tobango's expected low profits next quarter. We asked Turner Tobiasen, a native of Chicken, what he thought about George Muterstein owning his home team.
"I'm proud he chose our town and team among all the other small town minor league teams. As assistant manager, I'm expecting lots of free samples."
Also, famous doctor Ernest Applesnapper and his team have finally made a breakthrough. They have created a type of kumquat that will cure cancer. However, drugs derived from the plant have not yet been approved by the FDA and will not be available for several years. Even when they do, they will be very expensive. Don't get your hopes up.