Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Kilamanjaro-Dormington Advertises Cheerily while Todai Goes Under

Todai recently declared bankruptcy after switching from their commercial selling strategy to a more consumer-oriented, higher quality side. The only problem?
"Their kumquats remained decidedly low quality." said Hubit Shpeiper, correspondent and analyst for Corgi's Kumquats. "It seems that Todai didn't switch kumquats, just marketing strategies."
Meanwhile, Kilimanjaro-Dormington has begun a huge advertising campaign, with ads in the Obie's Kumquat's newsletter, widely watched fruit TV channels, and other press sources. They are very happy, "upbeat" (according to the company), and "obnoxiously sugar-coated" (according to an anonymous parent). The ads are mainly to wash away any association with the Addicting Kumquat Scandal of 1993 (see December 6 As far as we can tell, they seem to be working. But it is too early to really tell how much good it will do.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The Kumquat Tea Party

A very interesting event recently happened in the kumquat world. A certain brand of kumquat found only in Africa which is imported at exorbitant prices has gone to far. A group of angry protesters dressed as West African tribesman who wanted the prices down secretly boarded a cargo plane carrying cases of this brand from Nairobi to San Francisco. Then, when the plane was well into the U. S. they emptied the crates out the side of the plane. Many cases landed in the yards of Bertram Sandstice and his neighbor Melgatroid Gurbystout. We talked to Bertram Sandstice for his feelings.
"We were very glad that we had such good luck. After we had finished off the extras, we went to the store for more. the outrageous price stopped us. I hope the protest has some effect to drive the price down.